you

i want only this
i want only this

what's too fast in this life
the tears you see tonight are just confusion
are just fear
are just all this hitting me at once
combined with everything i DO feel for you
no matter what anyone else might say

i want to matter more

reading that causes me a lot more pain then i'd ever confess to you
and now i'm questioning myself all over again

more fear

why are you afraid?
is it because of her?
is it because of them?
is it because you've never done this before?
take comfort in the fact that millions of girls all over the world have done this before.

why are you afraid?
is it because of him leaving?
is it because of what it's done to you?
is it because you're scared i'll do the same?
take comfort in the fact that i will always be a phone call away.

why are you afraid?
is it because it's moving too fast?
is it because you're confused?
is it because your feelings are too big for you?
take comfort in the fact that my feelings are too big for me, too.

please don't be afraid.
it scares me.

a fear

so absolutely and utterly
terrified
of being loved
of being loved by you

i'm nothing important
except in your eyes
but if it was the end of the world
i'd still catch you as we fell
inexplicably towards the end of the universe

if you put your expectations high upon a mountain
i'll run
i'll jump
i'll climb
and try my best to take flight
for now
at least.

who knows if i'll ever make it that far.

so fucking lucky

so much need that the actual reasoning
is swallowed up
in the warm moist space
between our tongues.

deepest sinful secret

you make worlds love me
because you're crazy for me
you make me love you

doubts die ten deaths
at your touch; i die once
and again, again

each minute i wait
for your next perfect minute
face, hair, eyes, kiss, me
now.

i'll be terrible at keeping your secret.

wet and dry

you said it was about time to throw in the towel
(with your eyes)
but i wanted to tell you that i was still wet
that i still needed that fucking towel

and before i could turn around you were back in your life
straight
squeezed back into the mess of school, friends, love
straight
dissolver of fantasies
but not straight

oh do you know i wish
to be back inside that afternoon
with my head against your chest
with my hands against your breasts
with my fingers against your jeans
with my lips against your lips?

fairness is getting all the way there
all the poking around we did was not fair

don't leave me out to air dry.