no more words

green
orange
always drawing parallels, you know?
it was this temperature
inappropriate footwear
and i was even wearing the same sweater
although it was new then
and had seen less

i've walked these tracks a million times
with an infinite number of words in my head
your words, my words
will i ever have a reason to walk this way when you're gone?

it's funny how when i've been down for so long
i'm pulled irresistibly to that night
that happiness
i've gone to that bench twice
but i've lived that night a billion times

its cute, but its dumb
i only feel hollow, running full speed
feeling like an idiot, remembering you were wearing red
like that sweater someone dropped off to remind me
and when i sit this time
i don't want to be you
i just want to be me

and i can't believe someone could have swallowed me this fully
but you have, and you did, and i don't know if i could get away from it
there are no analogies to describe how i've changed since i met you
but the memories are all their
overturned, purple underbellies
because i don't want to lose this
ever

and as i realize for the hundredth time how crazy i am
i have to run away from the spot
as the shadows approach
literally
its the kind of place you can't stay for too long without approaching what's beyond this life
and that's certainly not a place i'm ready for yet
whether its good, or bad

and i walk in time down the last stretch
have cried here twice now
i've stopped counting how many times you've walked this way with me
in my head, my heart
and by my side

i have to slow down to make the music last
but as it gets to the end
i realize i am too far away to make it
and again i run

its the end of an eternal era
it really is
i am more over you than i will ever be
but my love for you is still too big to hold

i want to keep everything this way