i hate this

you are the outlet of my slow transformation into her
i want to fix you
i want to love you
i want to heal the twisted, diseased thing that this is

but you block me out
i'm not a person to you
i care more than any person can
i never want anyone to hurt you
do you see that?
if you do, you take it for granted

why are you so scared?
why are you so scared of the world?
why are you so scared of me...?

don't direct your self-hate at your only life line
you must expect me to be a real fucking strong person
to hold on while you beat me to fix yourself

what am i doing to myself?
what have i done?
all my life i've wanted to get out of this depressed situation
and i've just succeeded in throwing myself back into it

the thing is, people are people
you can't just throw them out
you can't give up on them

even to save yourself