purple mood

some days, a very large part of me wishes to just curl into you
like a heavy, purple sigh
a hybrid of you and i
still and silent at sunset
(it's not like i haven't imagined it)
to be pretty and little and feminine and protected
surrounded and covered by every inch of breathing, living you
to fulfill what she wanted two years ago
the fantasy; the boy
before she decided she could be something more

but part of me will always be too strong for you
and though i never thought i'd say it
part of me will always be too free for you to tie down
and that's not enough for me
my willingness to be the man only goes so far.

so come, rope me in, my not-so-stranger
take control, make me play the game for once
teach me not to care
teach me not to worry about anything but us
bind me in a place where all i want is to be yours

though i don't deserve anything from you
i want to give you me
i want this to work
i want to win this time.