i was in love with you. and them.

i miss the kids we used to be
the she and he
all broken, awkward hearts and messy confidence
sharing what we thought then was life
what we thought was important

now i have aged a thousand years
and sealed myself from the outside
i will search these shallow waters for mild amusement
but never again can i be caught that deep
for people learn how to evade hurt
this i know, for i have become a master of escape
but i have lost the thrill of being trapped

i don't pick and choose anymore
and when i lose, i move on

and the summer goes quick as it does
and it is gone long before we are able to properly bookmark it in our memories
or kiss it goodbye like a worn-in friend

along comes change to spoil the now
with fear and love and regret it brings
the future like a tidal wave
because every second following this
word
is my future

you can't measure change from where you are, you know
but you can watch the world re-mold around you
watch it turn and spin and morph
into your life

and that is sad
and that is beautiful
and that is lovely
and that is hateful
and that is passionate
and creative
and fearless
and messy
and vivid

and that is the way things are.

hello future
i am ready now.